Little Johnny is back!

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Rico
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Little Johnny is back!

Postby Rico » Oct Mon 10, 2016 1:53 pm

LITTLE JOHNNY IS BACK:

The teacher asked the class to use the word “fascinate” in a sentence.

Molly put up her hand and said, “My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating."

The teacher said, “That was good, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate,’ not 'fascinating'.”

Sally raised her hand. She said, “My family went to see Rock City and I was fascinated.”

The teacher said, “Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate’.”

Little Johnny raised his hand, but the teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before. She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word “fascinate,” so she called on him.

Johnny said, “My aunt Carolyn has a sweater with ten buttons, but her tits are so big she can only fasten eight!”

The teacher sat down and cried.
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Re: Little Johnny is back!

Postby iceman7668 » Oct Mon 10, 2016 2:27 pm

LOL!
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Re: Little Johnny is back!

Postby SIR FISH ALOT » Oct Mon 10, 2016 6:05 pm

Haha


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Re: Little Johnny is back!

Postby Prybis » Oct Mon 10, 2016 6:54 pm

good one.
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Re: Little Johnny is back!

Postby jimmycrown » Oct Mon 10, 2016 7:26 pm

Lol
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Re: Little Johnny is back!

Postby natahka72 » Oct Mon 10, 2016 8:03 pm

:rotf I had that kid in class!! That is why I retired after 38 years in the classroom. :bang
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Re: Little Johnny is back!

Postby bubbagill » Oct Mon 10, 2016 8:42 pm

I wanna meet aunt Carolyn. Lmao
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Re: Little Johnny is back!

Postby Rico » Oct Mon 10, 2016 10:15 pm

bubbagill wrote:I wanna meet aunt Carolyn. Lmao


LOL....me too!!!!!!! :snoopy
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Re: Little Johnny is back!

Postby iceman7668 » Oct Tue 11, 2016 2:57 pm

A teacher was working with a group of children, trying to broaden their horizons through sensory perception. She brought in a variety of lifesavers and said, "Children, I'd like you to close your eyes and taste these." The kids easily identified the taste of cherries, lemons and mint, but when the teacher gave them honey-flavored lifesavers, all of the kids were stumped. I'll give you a hint," said the teacher. "It's something your mommy probably calls your daddy all the time." Instantly, Little Johnny coughed his onto the floor and shouted, "Quick! Spit'em out! They're assholes!"
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Re: Little Johnny is back!

Postby iceman7668 » Oct Tue 11, 2016 3:08 pm

One day at the end of class, little Johnny's teacher asks the class to go home and think of a story to be concluded with the moral of that story. The following day the teacher asks for the first volunteer to tell their story. Little Suzy raises her hand. "My dad owns a farm and every Sunday we load the chicken eggs on the truck and drive into town to sell them at the market. Well, one Sunday we hit a big bump and all the eggs flew out of the basket and onto the road." When the teacher asked for the moral of the story, Suzy replied, "Don't keep all your eggs in one basket." Little Lucy went next. "My dad owns a farm too. Every weekend we take the chicken eggs and put them in the incubator. Last weekend only eight of the 12 eggs hatched."; Again, the teacher asked for the moral of the story. Lucy replied, "Don't count your chickens before they hatch." Next up was little Johnny. "My uncle Ted fought in the Vietnam war, and his plane was shot down over enemy territory. He jumped out before it crashed but could only take a case of beer, a machine gun and a machete. On the way down, he drank the case of beer. Then he landed right in the middle of 100 Vietnamese soldiers. He shot 70 with his machine gun, but then he ran out of bullets! So he pulled out his machete and killed 20 more. Then the blade on his machete broke, so he killed the last ten with his bare hands." The teacher looked a little shocked. After clearing her throat, she asked what possible moral there could be to this story. "Well," Johnny replied, "Don't F@#$ with Uncle Ted when he's been drinking."
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